january

by somasis

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about

this song is from "spirit / songs for lovers", to be released later this month on my birthday- may 28th. it is the last song i've finished for it.

i wrote this track a few days after someone i care about very much left the country to go home. the whole way from the airport, i cried the most i've probably ever cried, even knowing it wouldn't be the last time i'd see her, or the last time i'd feel this way.

highway 421 is the longest stretch of the road i take home. it normally never feels too unwelcoming, it's a simple two-lane highway. something about it felt just completely hostile that evening. i felt colder, i felt more vulnerable, i felt unable to continue, but i had to. i still think about that drive, that airport, and the night after a lot today. and i'll probably never forget it.

lyrics

as i begun my route home
my mind took the back roads alone
almost crashed through a road guard,
couldn't see through tear shards
when it started to get dark
almost put the car into park
didn't want to leave anymore
even if she already left port
too many things running through my head
too many lanes, i'm stressing till i'm dead
till i'm dead

four twenty one
foggy as can be
four twenty one
always lie to me
four twenty one
never been so cold
four twenty one
am i getting old

four twenty one
foggy as can be
four twenty one
always lie to me
four twenty one
never been so cold
four twenty one
am i getting old

don't know what to do with my hands
feel so empty so restless
stream of consciousness complaining messes

four twenty one
foggy as can be
four twenty one
always lie to me
four twenty one
never been so cold
four twenty one
am i getting old

she'll be back another day
another time another place
let me know when you're home
wanna be there when you roam
love it always seems so gray
when you hear the lyrics say
"i never let you feel the right way"
i hope we're there
we'll be there
anywhere i go i want to be with you
just be strong for me
i'm trying everyday
i know it hurts but we have no say
physical distance never lets us leave
holds me up, a needle in my sleeve
the futures it infects daily near and necks
love bites unwritten love taps ungiven
hand squeeze i'll hold a queue for you
i miss you every day
and i'll never be the same.

i'll never be the same...

four twenty one
foggy as can be
four twenty one
always lie to me
four twenty one
never been so cold
four twenty one
am i getting old...

credits

released May 1, 2019
thanks to the Charlotte-Douglas TSA for ruining moments

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Somasis North Carolina

Kylie McClain type beat

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